


Fluffernutter

by Zeplerfer



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Gen, Lunch, My incredibly random fic about a sandwich, Sandwiches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-19 00:36:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3589716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeplerfer/pseuds/Zeplerfer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When America brings a packed lunch to the world conference, England and Japan grow curious. What happened to America's hamburgers? And just what is a fluffernutter?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fluffernutter

As England well knew, lunch breaks at G8 meetings followed a predictable pattern. As soon as Germany called a break for lunch, North Italy cried "Pasta!" and dragged him to the nearest Italian restaurant. America preferred to race off to the closest hamburger joint. France slipped away to a convenient closet and the less said about his lunch hour the better. Russia hid from the clutches of his sister Belarus, and on one memorable occasion even ended up in the same closet as France. Japan (the host country at this particular meeting) quietly ate his homemade bento and prepared his speech for the afternoon session. For his part, England also worked during the lunch break because he was a diligent, responsible country, unlike certain others he could mention who burst out of the doors like a hamburger-seeking missile.

England realized that something was amiss as he began to review his notes for the afternoon session. He pummeled his head to figure out what and vaguely recalled that there was supposed to be someone else at the G8 conference. That one country… looked like America... very quiet. He pondered for a few more moments and promptly forgot what he was even thinking about.

The sound of a crinkling bag drew England's attention to America's seat. To England's surprise, the fast-food-loving nation was still in the room and had just lifted a brown bag lunch out of his scuffed-up briefcase and placed it onto the conference table.

America glanced up, caught England's stare, and grinned. "Hey England, guess you're staying here for lunch too, huh?"

England frowned, trying to make sense of America's abnormal presence and the curious absence of his usual greasy fast food. "As you would notice if you ever spared a moment for anything other than fast food, I _always_ work through the lunch hour," he chided. "But why are you here? Is Tokyo suffering some sort of crippling hamburger shortage?"

"Actually England-san, my country has the second-highest number of McDonald's in the world. They are very popular here," Japan said, putting away his speech and politely joining the conversation. The small table made it easy to hear every word spoken by the other countries, especially since America completely lacked an 'indoor voice'.

"Yeah!" America nodded enthusiastically. "I love the Big America burgers you guys got here. The Grand Canyon Burger is almost as cool as the canyon itself. And nearly as big!" He praised the classy look of McDonald's in Japan and their 'awesome' fast food offerings.

Japan nodded with pride. Correctly reading the dubious look on England's face, he explained that the fries and drinks portions were much smaller in his country, but that some of the burgers were actually larger than their American counterparts. "For example, the 'Mega Mac' burgers are like Big Macs, but even bigger, England-san."

"Et tu, Japan?" England's eyes widened in surprise. He thought that he was the only country suffering from the onslaught of America's unhealthy fast food. He never suspected that skinny Japan shared the same harmful addiction.

Ignoring the conversation between the two island nations, America pouted as he pulled an apple out of his bag. He sighed melodramatically. "Dude, I wish I coulda gotten a burger, but my boss said that we all have to tighten our belts. I even had to pack a lunch instead, which totally sucks."

"You might benefit from some belt tightening," England crisply replied with a small smirk.

"Hey, is that a fat joke?" America asked suspiciously.

"Why no, I was merely commenting on your _hefty_ finances. I'm sure a _leaner_ budget will help you _slim down_ your deficit."

"Geez, England. I'm seriously jonesing for a hamburger. You don't need to be mean about it," America huffed, in no mood for their usual taunts. He pulled out a sandwich. "At least I've got my fluffernutter to cheer me up."

England nearly choked on his tea. "Excuse me?"

"I'm not familiar with that term either, American-san."

America beamed, holding up the sandwich like it were one of his sacred hamburgers. "Oh man, I can't believe you guys have never tried it before! It's like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but instead of jelly you use marshmallow fluff! I used to call 'em Liberty Sandwiches, because they taste like freedom."

England relaxed, relieved to discover that America had no idea what a 'fluffer' was. England's post as erotic ambassador remained secure.

"That sounds… interesting, America-san."

"They sound like a precursor to diabetes."

"Well, I was gonna let you try some, but you're being a big ol' meany-pants, England, so no fluffernutter for you. Mm mmou mmnt mmm mmpan?" America asked as he chewed, offering a bit of the partially-eaten sandwich to Japan.

Japan blushed at the thought of an indirect kiss. "Thank you, America-san, but I'm full."

"Okay, 's your loss." America shrugged and finished devouring his sandwich.

England watched in horrified fascination. It was just like America to invent a sandwich that sounded disgusting and had no nutritional value whatsoever. In fact, the sandwich seemed to represent everything terrible about American cuisine: over reliance on processed foods and excessive amounts of fat and sugar. Clearly something had completely killed the boy's taste buds at some point after the 1700s because it definitely wasn't _England's_ fault.

"That hits the spot." America patted his stomach and smiled as he finished the sandwich. "It's 100% sugary goodness between two slices of wonder bread," he said, explaining to the other two countries how the gooey sweetness of the peanut butter meshed perfectly with the creamy sweetness of the marshmallow fluff. 

"I can't imagine why you would combine those two together. What's wrong with perfectly normal marmalade?" England complained.

Japan's eyes flashed with understanding. "Ah, the two ingredients pair together because they complement each other. Different enough to make the combination interesting, but similar enough to taste delicious."

"Yeah, I just mix stuff together and see what works," America said, summing up his entire national philosophy. He pulled another sandwich out of his bag because there was no way one sandwich and a measly apple would be enough to quell his growling stomach for an entire meeting.

"Another fluffernutter?" England asked, despairing for his former colony's health.

"Nope!" America grinned widely. "This one has peanut butter, bananas, and _bacon_."

England resolved to never ask America about his food choices ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> Fluffernutters are completely real and very popular in parts of New England. The rest of the country has either never heard of them or thinks that they sound disgusting. The peanut butter, banana, and bacon sandwich is also real and is called the "Elvis sandwich" because it was a favorite of Elvis Presley.
> 
> There are around 3,600 McDonald's stores in Japan and they serve a number of dishes not available in America. The Grand Canyon Burger is a beef patty with cooked egg, cheddar and mozzarella cheese, crispy onions, steak sauce, and an extra middle bun. Also, the Bacon and Potato Pie is amazing.
> 
> P.S. If you want to know what a fluffer is, you'll have to google urban dictionary for yourself because this is a G-rated fic. Let's just say it's a person in the adult film industry...


End file.
